I'm scary

You may find this shocking, so brace yourself - Not everyone likes me. Yes, there are some people out there who do not like me. I know, crazy.

I think some people are put off by my brutal honesty, my inability to play politics or games, my candidness and refusal to sugar coat things. I live in a mostly black and white world, there's very little gray in it. There's some... but not a lot.

This world view has gotten me into trouble many times; at work, at home, with friends and family. But should I try and change it? I'm not sure I could, even if I wanted to. I do try and cut my loved ones some slack, and they do the same for me. They've learned that even when I may come off as harsh or abrasive, that its just their perception and its not due to any intent on my part, other than to relay information. My intent is to tell you (the rhetorical you) something as clearly and succinctly as possible.

This is why I will never be a people manager, or so I believe. If you're doing a great job, I'll tell you. If I think you're not, I'll tell you. Why does it have to be more complicated than that? Isn't life compicated enough?

Usually I feel bad about this aspect of myself, because I know it can put people off and sometimes that makes me sad. There are people I'd like to be friends with that I'm not, and I wonder if I were more... soft?.. maybe we'd be friends. But that's not me.

Then yesterday, in having a conversation with an old high school friend, I was told this;

You shocked me when I first met you with your kindness and openness and I was drawn to it and sometimes afraid of it - it's not what I was used to.

And I think that's sort of it. I scare people because I'm "too open" and it's not what they're used to. But what Chris was saying here was he saw it as a good thing. My friends who love me see it as a good thing, or at least an acceptable "Amy thing", and that's a relief. Truly, I don't know how else to be.

Scary Amy, signing off.

-A

A post about my dad

I think the font on my blog has been too small so I'm trying a new font today, slightly bigger - or so I hope. It doesn't look bigger now as I type but hopefully when I post it'll appear bigger.

So that's me and my dad. This was at my 5 year Cancer Free celebration party. My sister used to tease me, when I was little, that I was adopted. I didn't actually believe her, but a small part of me did wonder for a bit. Because in my family, I was the only one with blond hair and brown eyes. My mom's eyes are blue and my dad's are hazel, and my sister's are hazel. My dad had blond hair as a child but when I was a kid, that meant nothing to me. All I knew was what I saw. Now don't get mad at my sister, I never really believed it, I only just sort of wondered.

However now there's certainly no doubt. I look too much like my Father (and my Grandmother too) for there to be any question of paternity. LOL! As this pic shows.

He's doing well, he's at the Rehab place and he is supposed to start Therapy today. He's in better spirits since he's left the hospital, and he's eager to go home but that is likely at least a week away. Well, a week from when he arrived anyway so I don't see him going home before this Friday, and maybe not even that soon.

He's not on any IV's or monitors, which is great. He looks good and when I visited, we talked and watched the Russia/Czech Olympic hockey game. Good times.

-A

Daily Show clip

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
The Apparent Trap
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Jon Stewart rocks my socks.

Thursday stuff

This is my friend Rhonda and I in the balloon. My hair is all flat because I'd been wearing a hat earlier but took it off in the heat of the fire keeping the balloon aloft. We had a great time and would definitely do it again. We got the deal from Groupon and I highly recommend you check out Groupon if you don't know about it already. It is the shiznit. And I thank Rhonda for this photo, she's awesome. And a good friend.

So my dad's in the hospital. I haven't posted about this because I don't think my mom is sharing this with people, but I want to "talk" about it.

He went in last Wednesday, so it's been more than a week now. He's had another stroke, it would seem, but getting medical info from him is difficult. He doesn't always know what he's talking about and tells me more about what he thinks is going on, than about what might really be going on.

But I do know this; He's got numbness (but not paralysis) all along his right side. It's sort of waxed and waned, but I don't think it's going away and next stop is a Rehab Center where they'll work with him to hopefully recover, however much that's possible.

He's got a small artery in his brain that is causing these mini-strokes he's been having, and the one he had that put him in the hospital last week, and the docs thought maybe there was a blood clot there and that if they could move it, the numbness would go away. Now they're saying there's no blood clot, it's just that the artery is slowly closing off because of plaque, and that there's nothing they can do.

So, as he says, he'll either get better, get worse, or stay the same. We're hoping for better of course, but I expect this will be what eventually does him in. My sister had initially said she thought they would do brain surgery if it seemed like all other options were exhausted, but right now it's too risky and the risks outweigh the benefits. When does that change, I wonder? When he's in a bed, immobile? Doesn't sound too good to me.

I'm sort of commpletely blah about the whole thing. I'm not sad, I'm not angry, I'm not really anything. I don't think I've quite processed what's happening. Mostly because he seems ok. Sure, he might not be able to walk for a bit because of the numbness, but therapy should help that and he can move, he's not paralyzed at all, and he can talk. Aside from the numbness, which I can't see, he seems like his normal self. I hope it stays that way.

I saw a shooting star on my way to visit him Tuesday night, and I made a wish.
-A

Boo! What the? Mmmm! Woo hoo!

Boo!
Hockey game Saturday night, and we lost. Petr Prucha got hurt in the 1st period and the Coyotes got pissed. There were more fights than I've seen in Hockey in a long, long time. And.. the Refs really let them go much longer than usual. Not sure how that works - why sometimes they break up the fights right away and other times they let the players really go at it. We lost 0:3, it was sad. We had a good time, even so.

What the?
Yesterday we found a pink post-it on my car that said "Te Amo". John brought it in, he was like - Did you leave this on your car? Um, why would I leave a note to myself? No, I didn't leave it. Then we get in his car, and there's a blue post-it on his windshield, passenger side, so I reach out through the window and grab it. In different ink and different handwriting, it says "I love you". Weird, right? Some kind of crazy valentine's fairies making the rounds I guess.

Mmmmm!
For Valentine's day I got chocolate! Mmmmm. Of course, I had to pretty much say "This is what you're going to get me" because my man does not know how to take hints. Nor does he plan ahead. As of Friday he had still not gotten me anything. But rather than say, "Hey, I want these chocolates!" myself, I had a couple friends email him and say, "You know what Amy wants? This is what she wants...", which made it a bit better. I have had his presents since Christmas, but I didn't give them to him yet! Aiee! I'm a bad girl. We were tired once we got home last night and then I had Sophie on my lap and didn't want to move. He didn't make a fuss, so I stayed comfy and he'll get his presents today.

I also got a Sprinkles cupcake, talk about Mmmmm! Banana with chocolate frosting. Oh yeah, so freakin' good. The Banana is my favorite, of the few I've tried. I know they're known for their Red Velvet, which is very good, but I really love the Banana. And I never had it with chocolate frosting before, so that was really a treat. So, so, so very good!

Woo hoo!
Monday we celebrated Valentine's Day, only we call it Lovers Day. Just because. We don't celebrate the Hallmark Holiday, but just celebrate that we love each other. Which we can celebrate any day, doesn't have to be February 14. We slept late, had brunch at La Grande Orange where we took Sophie along and she got to sit outside with us and people watch, and try some bacon. Yes, she loved the bacon. No surprise there. Then we went home and I napped briefly, and only briefly because our friends picked us up at 3:30 to go on our Balloon Ride! Yes, we all got a Groupon deal for Hot Air Expeditions and so we went with our two friends and had an amazing evening balloon ride over the desert, followed by hors d'oervres and champagne. There were more people than just us, and 3 bottles of champagne, but we probably drank about 1.5 at least, just between the 4 of us. It was a good time, and pitch black in the desert by the time we wrapped up. The moon was just a sliver over the Western mountains, it was gorgeous. My camera battery had failed by then so I didn't get a picture of that, but I did get lots of pictures while in the air.

I still have to get the pics off my camera, but I will be adding a photo to this entry once I've done that, so if you're seeing it without a photo, be sure to check back later.

-A

Happy Black Friday!

The Friday before Valentine's Day is Black Friday, right? ;)
Heck if I know.

I hope this embedding thing works.
Amy

Edit; It did not work. Huh, you know, I think I have to be in the HTML editing function. If you see a JibJab card below that you can view, then it worked. :)

Personalize funny videos and birthday eCards at JibJab!

Stuffy Nose

Mah node id all stubbed up. I am not habby.

Nor will I type my entire post today phonetically, that would take way too much thinking on my part and I'm still having my morning coffee.

So my cousin is getting married in May - hooray! I'm very happy for her, she's one of my favorite relatives. We were born only a few months apart and grew up together. I'm excited to go to the wedding too and visit with my other favorite relatives. As for my not so favorite ones? Well, a few drinks and everyone looks good so it'll be a good time no matter who is there.

The big question is right now - what do we do with Sophie? Our recently adopted dog can't stay home by herself. I'd rather not board her, we already have to board one of our kitties because she gets meds 2x/day - a lot to ask of a friend or relative unless they stay in the house. Hmmm... that actually makes me think. I wonder...

One of my friends is having major issues in the home she bought, I believe she was going to leave it. Like just up and go and let it be foreclosed upon. It's not worth what she bought it for, the market dropped not long after her purchase, and it's had all sorts of terrible issues too. AND her brother lives with her, along with his boyfriend... Maybe she'd like a break and would be willing to come stay here and house/pet sit. I'll have to talk to her. She has a dog of her own but if her brother is still there, or if she's back home by the time we leave, her parents will be there, and so the dog would be taken care of. Hmmm. Not a bad idea.

Good thing I'm blogging, it helps me think.

-A

Winter Coat

Today when I walked the dog I put on some capri pants that I'd forgotten I had. I dug them out because all my other pants are dirty, yes its time for some laundry, and I wore mismatched striped socks pulled up as high as they would go. I thought I looked kind of cute and quirky really.

Confession time. The socks were a necessity because I haven't shaved my legs in, well, a long time. I sometimes joke that its my winter coat. Shameful I know, but I'm just a wild Bohemian at heart. My armpits aren't shaved either. Oo! Scandalous!

Don't judge me.
-A

Ugh

Well J is in a super crabby mood. Gotta love it. I'm just trying to stay out of his way. I hate when he's like this. He's short-tempered, throwing stuff around, slamming doors... I asked if there was anything I could help him with and he said "I don't know."

Earlier he was moving stuff around on the patio in preparation for the painters tomorrow (our HOA has been repainting all the buildings, tomorrow its our turn) and he says to me something like, "Where should I put everything?" I honestly thought it was a rhetorical question so I didn't answer. So he asked me again (and mind you, he didn't ask where I thought he should put stuff, just where he should put stuff - like I know and should instruct him). I told him I didn't really know, but were supposed to get it all away from the walls.

He grumbles and goes outside, slamming the doors and swearing a blue streak.  (And again just now). So I go out there, see if I can help. He's bringing the outdoor cushions indoors and I say, "Those should be fine, they're outdoor cushions." He argues with me and I say, Whatever, I'm just trying to help. He's being all pissy and I ask why he's mad and he starts yelling that he's irritated and trying to clear off the patio and I'm in his way asking questions.

At this point, clearly I can do nothing right, so now I'm shutting up and venting on my blog. Jerk.

Frakkin shrimp toast.
-A