Taking care of our parents

I chose a stormy image for today's post because I'm feeling a bit stormy.

I was talking to a friend and it seems that many of us (and by us, I mean those in my generation) are now getting to the age of role reversal, where we become the caretakers of our parents. And that made me sad.

My dad was in the ER again last night for extremely high blood pressure. He and my mom live with my sister, so she was able to convince him to go to the ER, even though he really, really didn't want to. She's great with him, I'm not sure I could have done as well. I would have probably been mean about it, gotten frustrated. She's such a great nuturer, she's absolutely the caregiver type and I'm absolutely not. My mom jokes that they can always depend on me... to pay for the nursing home. And that's probably true.

Then again, none of us really know what we're capable of until we're in a situation where we have to push ourselves and our boundaries. Right? But I hope I never have to, in this case. The thought scares me. Thankfully my sister is willing and able, so it all works out.

My dad was not admitted last night, and was sent home around 3:30 a.m. I haven't heard anything new since I was told he was being looked at in the ER, but hope to get some news once my parents have had time to get some much needed sleep. I'm sure it'll just be that they got his blood pressure down and let him go. As to why it was up, we already know.

My dad has a small artery in his brain that is occluded. It's caused many small strokes (TIA's) throughout the last 15 or so years, the first was in Wisconsin around '98 I think. I forget the exact year. I don't think I even really understood what was happening then. I know I was at the house and they called 911, and I left. I was visiting from Arizona I think, and had to fly back the next day. I think I was selfishly spending time with my boyfriend that weekend, and had no idea that what was happening to my dad was potentially so serious.

Fortunately it wasn't too serious - he was ok, very little damage done. But since then he's had many other TIAs (transient ischemic attack, if you want to look it up) and has had to deal with the decline of his body a bit, as a result. He's had issues with his eye, his foot and leg, other things. But nothing debilitating. Then about 4 weeks ago he had a full on stroke. He wouldn't go to the hospital because he didn't have insurance. Last year he had a double bypass and was on the state provided insurance but they dropped him after about 9 months. Then the stroke happened, and once he did go to the hospital and was admitted, he was back on it again.

He's such a stubborn man. Even after that, having a stroke, he still didn't want to go to the hospital last night. It took about 3 hours to convince him, apparently. My sister said he was mad, but not really mad at her, just mad at the situation. I think he's depressed. He's on so many meds right now, I don't know if he's on one for mood but I think he should be.

So at least he's home though now, and resting. Or I assume he's resting. I'll probably go over there later tonight after work. I always feel better after I see for myself how he's doing.

I'm not ready to lose either of my parents. I don't even like thinking about the possibility.

-A