Sometimes life sucks so much I can barely stand living it. Sometimes the dark is so full and hopeless, I can't see an end to it. Sometimes I just want to curl up and sleep until things are better.

My husband's mom is dying. She's a wonderful, beautiful, amazing woman. Kind. Sweet. Caring. Funny. We thought she had 4-6 months, more with chemo, but it's not looking good. She isn't doing well and my FIL said J should visit her this weekend. Just to be safe. They'll pay for his plane ticket, which is so wonderful. I'm very grateful.

I will be on my own. My hubby does everything for me; makes me dinner, walks the dog 2x a day, feeds the cats, cleans the litter boxes. I'm very pregnant, some of these things I cannot do, some I just need help with. He asked if someone in my family could come help out while he's away. I called my mom.

She tells me - Oh, dear, I just told my friend I'd watch her dog for her.

Excuse me?

My husband's mom is dying. I need my mom here. Her friend's dog is apparently more important than than either of those things.

Oh, but her friend has no one else, and her friend asked her first. You know what? I have no one else either. No one else is my Mom.

If one of us, between the two of us, her friend and I, should have to find or make other plans, shouldn't it be the friend?

I told her I couldn't even talk to her right now. That I didn't know why she couldn't just tell her friend something came up. I'm sure the woman would understand, under the circumstances.

I'm family. I'm the GD pregnant daughter. I need help and my mom won't be there for me.

I can't even describe how hurt and angry I'm feeling right now. There are no words capable of encompassing these feelings.

I am undone.


Edit: My mom did call her friend, who boarded her dog for the weekend, and my mom came here to keep me company. It was very good to have her here as my mother-in-law passed away early Sunday morning. It was awful and I'm glad I wasn't alone.