Stupid food truck. If you say you'll be someplace until 2:00, you really shouldn't leave before 2:00!
(edit: just found out they didn't have the truck there, just a tent at the Farmer's Market, but they said they were there til 2:00 and I was right where they said they were, it's where I bought the macaroons, and I definitely didn't see them!)
On my way home I started to feel really funky - sort of light-headed and really shaky. I think it was either from low blood sugar, even though I ate a bowl of cereal earlier, or anxiety. I don't know what I had to be anxious about, but I'm just naturally anxious so could have been an anxiety attack. Kind of felt like one. That's the weird thing about anxiety; sometimes it seems to manifest for what seems like no reason at all. One of the first times I experienced physical symptoms of anxiety I wasn't doing anything at all. It was a Sunday morning, I was sitting on the couch watching TV, and suddenly my heart was racing. I went to the ER because it really freaked me out, and there was nothing wrong with me. Or at least nothing wrong with my heart.
Another time it was late and I was on the computer, I couldn't sleep so I had gotten up and was checking email or something, when suddenly I felt dizzy, sweaty but cold, and nauseated. I also suddenly couldn't move my hands. I thought I was having a stroke or something, and what did I do? Went on Webmd.com and typed in my symptoms, even though I could barely move my hands, to look up what might be happening to me. I couldn't find much that was helpful so the next day, since I didn't die in my sleep, I went to Urgent Care and was told it was Anxiety.
The doctor there gave me a list of symptoms and suddenly so many things made sense. I felt like someone was shining a light down on me and angels were singing; it was an epiphany. The listed symptoms were like a description of me, of things I'd experienced my entire life, and I couldn't believe that I hadn't been diagnosed much sooner.
I haven't had any issues with my anxiety in a while, I don't even remember the last time I had an anxiety attack, but it has been a bit crazy lately so I'm not really surprised. We've had to move all our stuff downstairs in order to have workers install our bamboo flooring upstairs. The clutter alone is making me nuts. Then there's the cost - way more than I'd like (though definitely worth it). Still, it's stressful spending all that money on the floors when I feel like we should pay off the credit cards, which are full of vet bills and our trip to Colorado and other such stuff. Then lastly there's my dad, who has been so ill for the last couple of years and whose health is just declining more and more. Not only is he having health issues, but he's so unhappy. It's just a lot to deal with.
Sometimes I just want to check-out and go into stasis. Put me in a tank in a medically induced coma and leave me there a couple of weeks. Hook up an IV for nutrients and something for waste products. Pull me out and maybe not only will I be refreshed, but I might also be skinny! That would be awesome.
Maybe I'll start a business. The Stasis Store. Anyone want in?
