Last month I had a baby. About 3 weeks ago, actually. She's amazing but... There's that but. I'm finding everything to be SO hard. I'm ready for her to be bigger already so that there's more to life than feed the baby, change the baby and sleep. And sleep is elusive. Everyone says kiss your sleep goodbye and it's true. She's going through a growth spurt too so sometimes she's hungry like every hour for a few hours in a row and I'm trying to breast feed but it's not going great, I've had to supplement with formula and have had her on a bottle a lot because she doesn't latch right and my girls hurt! I had a lactation consultant come and she was helpful but once she left it was me on my own again and it's just still not working right.
The worst part I think is as a new mom, I question everything. Is she eating enough? Am I feeding her too much? Is she sleeping too long? Should I wake her to change her diaper or just get some sleep myself? Is it too cold? Is she wearing enough? What if she's too warm? It's horrible! And no one to really ask to get good answers. My mom is helpful as is my sister but they both had babies a long while ago. The pediatrician's office is there to help but even with their answers I still have to go on what I think is best in the current circumstances and I still question my judgement every time.
I'm so tired.
