We'll be drinking white wine in the sun...

Happy Holidays - again.  With my new favorite Christmas (or non-Christmas) song.  Thanks to my friend Meredith for showing this to me.  I so love it.

Happy Holidays!

I hope I know what I'm doing. By that, I mean I hope I've successfully embedded the above video.

Happy Holidays!
-A

Random musings (and a Top Chef All Stars spoiler)

It's getting late, I'm watching Top Chef: All Stars and will soon be going to bed, but not until I know who was eliminated tonight.

Wow - now I'm watching the end of the show and Jen really goes off about her dish!  Phew, go Jen!  She's so crazy.  Yelling at the judges may not be the best way to go.  I do have big respect for Tom now, for saying he didn't mind the back talk, that if someone is going home it'll be for a bad dish, not for talking back to the judges. 

Tiffani (the red-haired one) was such a bitch in her season, Season 1, and I didn't like her at all.  This season she seems much softer, nicer.  I kind of like her.  But Tiffany is actually my favorite.  For now.   I just loved her in the last (most recent) season, but I also adore Spike.  He's such a character.  Those two are my favorites and the ones I hope make it into the Finals.  We'll see.  What is Bravo's mantra these days?  "Watch what happens!"  And so I will.

I totally love this show.  I try not to watch too much reality TV but this show is great.  Maybe it's because I love food, or because my dad is a Chef, but I just find it fascinating.  Also, I am not a cook.  I love to bake but cooking is not my thing.  When I watch these chefs create amazing dishes with all the restrictions they're given, it just floors me. 

And the verdict... Holy crap - I can't believe they sent Jen home!  I guess that'll teach the contestants not to talk back to the judges.  Not cool Top Chef.  I have to say I'm a little disappointed.  Of course, I didn't taste her dish so really, I can't say whether she actually deserved to go home or not, but it doesn't look good.  That's for sure.

Coming next week, Tiffani says: I should not have frozen my melons.

Is it just me or does that sound dirty?

Amy

Some Blogs you should be reading

I have a list of great Blogs posted on my main page, somewhere off to the right I believe.  You should totally check them out, there's some great stuff out there.

-A

Brunch & Baking

I recently had people over for brunch and it reminded me how much I like to bake.  I made some Chile Rellenos casserole (Win),  some baked French Toast that had orange marmalade (Win), and some Popovers (Fail).  I need to work on my popovers, not sure I had a very good recipe so I'll have to try that again.  Good thing is the recipe itself is easy and basic, so making various attempts won't be difficult.

I enjoy baking but I wish I had a better kitchen to do it in.  My husband recently changed positions within his company and the change includes a pay increase, so I'm hopeful that we can redo our kitchen to make for more space.  Our neighbors redid theirs a few years ago, and they had the same set-up as we do, so we have an idea of what it should look like.  It's a definite thought!

First priority however, is the bamboo flooring we've been sitting on for about 5+ years now.  We will be ripping up the carpeting and getting the flooring installed before Spring.  We have relatives coming for a visit and we'd like to have it finished before they arrive.

Back to baking.  I do love to bake.  I'm not much into cooking but baking makes me feel good; The measuring, the mixing - there's something soothing about it.  It's something I can do and totally focus on, without any worries intruding.  And here come the holidays. It's the perfect time for baking!  My mom, sister and I even make a day of it near Christmas.  We get together and do an all-day Christmas Cookie baking event.  I'm looking forward to it.  Before Christmas though is Thanksgiving.  I can't believe it's Thanksgiving time already.

For Thanksgiving my parents are going out of town, as they always do, and rather than impose on my sister to have us over and cook a big dinner, my husband and I are going to a friend's house.  There are approximately 16 guests expected and we're bringing Brussels Sprouts and a Chocolate Cream Pie (family recipe).  Hubby makes the veggie, I make the pie.  He cooks, I bake.  It's a fair exchange.  Ok, it's not really fair since he cooks far more often than I bake, but if that weren't the case we'd both be enormously fat because let's face it, baking isn't a fat-free kind of hobby.  The chocolate cream pie I'll be making is basically eggs, butter, sugar and chocolate.  It's so delicious and amazing and I'm excited to share this long-time family tradition with my friends.  Though part of me would rather just eat the whole pie myself.  Now there's a dangerous thought!  I'm still recovering from all the leftover Halloween candy and now it's Thanksgiving?  It's so not fair.

On the bright side, I no longer work in an office where new treats are arriving daily as gifts from business partners.  Now that I work from home I can avoid the lure of those temptations often found during the holidays in a business office.

Speaking of work, one more day of work before the holiday and tomorrow we're all being let out early.  Hooray!  Happy Thanksgiving everyone.
-Amy

Gray. Hair.

I found my 1st gray hair last night.  !!!
My hairdresser, Kelly (owner of the fabulous Motorhead salon) once teased me about a gray hair.  He said something about finding one and I said; "Oh!  My first gray hair!" and he said; "I didn't say it was your first..."
Oh yes, he's hilarious.  ;)

It was funny, and yet I didn't actually see it, nor have I ever seen any, but last night while bending over the sink, brushing my teeth before bed, there it was.  Shiny like none of my other hair was, reflecting the light in an almost sparkly way.  It took me a few minutes to separate it out from the rest of the hair surrounding it, but I finally managed it and plucked the little bastard right out.

I actually didn't pluck it out of vanity, but out of curiosity.  I wanted to see it up close, get a good look at it, maybe save it.  Whether it's my first actual gray hair doesn't matter, it's the first one I've ever found or seen on my head, therefore it's being dubbed The First Gray Hair.  I put it in a little Tupperware cup because it was very late at night and I didn't know what else to do with it at the time.  I guess I'll have to tape it in my diary or something, or put it away in a little box, save it for a rainy day when I might want to pull it out and admire my first ever gray hair.

It's strange, this milestone.  My first gray hair.  I'm not sure how I feel about it.  I'm still processing.  In the meantime, I need to make a long overdue appointment with Kelly to get my hair colored.  Not because of the gray, but because I prefer to be a Redhead.  ;)
-Amy

Brunch tomorrow

I have re-scheduled this Brunch at my house 3 times now, so tomorrow is IT.  I only have a handful of people coming over and that's a good thing, less stress that way.  I still need to clean-up downstairs, as there are clothes everywhere and just a lot of stuff.  I was hoping to get rid of a lot of stuff in the big Team in Training yard sale that was going on last weekend, one of the reasons I post-poned the brunch (again), but that didn't work out like I envisioned it. 

John went and took a whole bunch of stuff that my sister and parents donated, and there were going to be lots of other people there but I didn't want to go (setting up at 5:30 was just too early for me) so there was a lot of stuff I didn't want to send as I didn't think he'd be able to really price it the way I wanted.  A lot of the stuff we thought would sell didn't, like some great kid's toys my sister gave us, so I think it was good I didn't send "my" stuff along.  I figure we'll do a yard sale here, in the neighborhood.  Put up some signs, sit out front, it'll be great. 

But first, Brunch!

The Menu;
Mimosas (of course!)
Coffee
Chile Rellenos Casserole
Baked French Toast with orange marmalade and walnuts
Popovers
Homemade Peach Jam

That's it, I hope it's enough food.  I think there will be...  not including John and I...  7-10 people total.  There are some folks I'm not certain about.  I changed the date so many times I confused people, and the stupid invitations were also totally lame and confusing.

It's supposed to be a Houseparty party - www.houseparty.com - for the Hamilton Beach Brewmaster.  I was chosen to host a party and demonstrate the new Brewmaster Coffeemaker.  If people like it, I have coupons if they want to buy one.  But of course they don't have to.  The cool thing is I got the coffeemaker for free, just for showing it off to my friends.  I'm not selling it so there's no pressure or anything.  The not so cool thing is the houseparty website invites are totally lame and even though I changed my party date, it kept looking like my brunch was still on 11/8.  And some people thought it was just an invite to check out Houseparty, and didn't see it was an invite to come over for brunch, so they saved it to look at later. 

What have I learned?  That I'm not a big fan of Houseparty and if I were to host another party in the future, I would not rely on their invitation system, but would instead use eVite or some other service.

I hope everyone has a great weekend!
Amy

Strange dream

This week I learned that my favorite ex-boyfriend is dating a lovely woman, and while I'm very happy for him I can't help but be a bit jealous.  What's wrong with me?  Why should I be jealous?  We broke up...  15+ years ago?  I've been married for 8 years myself, happily married.  Feelings are weird.

Dreams are weirder.  I dreamt he showed up for a visit and had an empty engagement ring box, which he showed me, because he wanted me to help him pick out a ring.  I guess my subconscious is trying to help me get used to the idea that he may actually get married.  (He once told me he was never getting married.  He's 41 this year and I think I was starting to believe him.  But not so much anymore.)  We'll see what happens.

The dream was bittersweet.  My friend, who I shared this with, asked if I thought it could actually happen; Could he actually show up here wanting my help to pick out a ring, were he to decide to marry this girl?  I said probably not.  I think he could do just fine on his own, plus we're still friends but I'm sure he has much closer friends than me.  The idea was nice, but it was a bit My Best Friend's Wedding, in a way.  Can you see me at the rehearsal dinner (brunch?) with my gay fake fiance singing Dionne Warwick?  I could make that happen!

I say a little prayer for you....
-A

Sam & Dean

Supernatural on The WB has some kick@ss writers.  Tonight;
"What, you think there's some clinic for people who just pop out of Hell wrong?"
Ah Dean, you always know the right thing to say.
-A

Dreaming

Last night I had the strangest dream...
I sailed away to China,
In a little row boat to find ya,
And you said you had to get your laundry clean.
Didn't want no one to hold you - what did that mean?

Old 80's song aside, I really did have a strange dream last night.  Or was it this morning?  It was a combination High School, Renaissance Faire, work and movie dream.  It was very odd and yet now I can't remember a bit of it.  Funny how dreams do that to you.  I keep a notebook and pen next to my bed so that I can write these things down but I never seem to wake-up fully enough to do this.

I did once write down something about a lion and a circus train.  But when I woke up and read it, it made no sense to me.  Something with a lion and feathers.  A Griffin maybe?  Heck if I could remember.

My real life dreams are just as complicated.  I want to someday have my own animal sanctuary/rescue.  I want to be a pet behaviorist.  I want to be a lawyer or maybe a judge.  I want to have my own business.  I want to be a baker, or an artist (but I'm not terribly artistic) or maybe own a bar.  I want to have a family, or maybe not have a family.  I want to move to the Pacific NW but I want to stay here.  I want to not have to worry about money.  I want to be a writer.  I want to be thin.  I want to be a belly dancer.  I want to win the lottery.  I want to start my own non-profit to help cancer patients and their families.  I want Firefly to come back on the air with new episodes.  I want a lot.  I dream a lot.

I got a lot of dreams.       
    

Sharing a link

I read this today and was truly inspired. (click here)

I'm not going to get into religion or personal beliefs here, but I did want to share the above link with anyone who wants to see it, because not only is it a brilliant post, but the discussion that occurs within the comments also contains some really wonderful information.

There are so many haters out there. I stand on the side of Love. I hope you do too.
-A

Desert Heat

Holy rollers, I know I live in the desert but it is SO hot outside. Current temp. is 102 degrees, and temp is expected to be around 112 on Thursday, the hottest day expected this week.

This is the 1st Summer since I've moved to AZ that I've felt like maybe living somewhere else would be a good thing. It's also the 1st Summer that I've had a dog. I don't think that's a coincidence. In Summer's past I've been able to stay out of the heat, much like I stayed out of the cold during the Winter in the many years I lived in Wisconsin. The main difference being here, in the heat, you don't have to thaw out your car before you drive it or worry much about driving conditions. Oh, and the days are sunny and not gray. There are a lot more differences I could name but I won't go into all of them, I'm sure those of you that live here or there know what I mean.

This Summer, however, I've got Sophie. My beautiful, loveable Miss Sophie. Who needs to go on Walkies. And darn it, where's my phone? I wanted to send a pic to attach to this post via my phone and it's downstairs so I'll have to use one already in my library. But I digress.

I walk Sophie briefly in the morning, then feed her. I walk her again during my lunch hour, one of the excellent perks of working from home. And then I walk her again in the evening, or sometimes John walks her. We started fostering Sophie in October last year, so it was already cool. Our lunchtime walks used to be nice, long and leisurely. Not anymore. Now it's a game of staying in the shadows as much as possible and coming back before sunburn or heatstroke can get us. Fun, right? Ha.

She's smart, she sticks to the shadows as much as she can. Luckily for her, she's little and close to the ground so shadows made by bushes alongside the buildings work for her. For me... not so much. And I can literally feel the sun burning into me. It's so uncomfortable. I just told my co-worker, it's like being hit with a laser or something, or maybe like being an ant under a magnifying glass. I swear I can feel the rays penetrating my skin and damaging my cells. Ugh. This will be the year I get wrinkles, I just know it.

Is 30-something too young to become a Snow Bird?

-A

Under Pressure

Do do do do do do do.... I've got the Queen / David Bowie song running through my head now. I may have to find it online and play it, just to get rid of it. Do do do do do do do. Do do do do do do do. Pressure!

I'm starting my fundraising for El Tour and I actually already have about $500 raised. It's not showing on my page yet because it's being moved from my previous event, PF Chang's, and from my Coyotes Hockey "challenge" page that I was using until the Stanley Cup was won by the Blackhawks (Yay! Congrats Blackhawks!) but it will be there soon!

My minimum is only around $1200 because I'm a Survivor / Honored Patient, but I've set my own goal at $2,000. So if you know any wealthy people looking to make a donation to a good cause, send them my way please!
http://pages.teamintraining.org/dm/tucson10/astockinger

I'm happy to take donations of any size though, large or small. I think the minimum the site allows for is $5.00 and hey - that's $5.00 more than I had before. I have something like 170 friends on Facebook. Can you imagine how cool it would be if each of them donated $5.00 to me? It'll never happen, but it'd be cool if it did! That would be... what? $850!! That's what!

Yeah, that would be cool. But even though I always put it out there, most people don't donate. Even the ones that say they will. And I'm always like - Really? $5.00? You don't have $5.00 you can spare to fight cancer?

Oh well. Story of my life since I got sick. Raising money is hard. I hope the cycle training is easier.
-A

Fighting Cancer 1 Mile at a Time!

Jo Anna (Rt) and I, both blood cancer survivors

So I've completed a 1/2 Marathon, and I was going to sign up for another one this year, but I just wasn't motivated. Though I should expand on that; I wasn't motivated to do TWO 1/2 Marathons this year. See, I'm already signed up to do one in San Antonio with my friend, Brenda. But I was also going to sign up to do one in San Francisco, with Team in Training. Only I just couldn't get myself motivated to do it.

What is my problem?, I thought. Why does this seem so hard? Ok, well one reason is it's really frakkin' hot outside these days. But still, I have a gym membership, and I can go out when it's cooler early in the morning. But somehow I wasn't going, and I wasn't sending in my paperwork to sign-up, which I'd had sitting on my desk for a couple weeks. Why?

Then I figured it out. I was bored. I was sort of, Been There, Done That. So I decided to try something I've never done before - A Century Ride!

A century ride is a 100+ mile bike ride, and they take place all over the country. There's one this Fall in Tucson, which is just a hop, skip and jump away, and it's a very popular event so there will be lots of people training for it here locally.

So I signed up! I'm in, I'm totally in. And I'm excited. My friend is even on the Board of Directors for a local charity that provides loaner bikes for people who are completing a cycling event for charity, like I'm doing, so that I don't have to find $500+ to buy a new bike. The woman who formed the charity lost her husband to Lymphoma, and started the charity in his name. I've got the applications and I'm really looking forward to getting on my "new" bike. Apparently if I really like it, I can buy it, but if I decide that cycling is not for me I can give it back and it'll go to some other lucky person who is cycling for charity. How cool is that? It's uphillintothewind.org in case any of you are interested.

So that's my plan. And it means I'm fundraising again, and you can make your donation here: http://pages.teamintraining.org/dm/tucson10/astockinger


I'm sure you'll want to donate, because it's a great cause and it's one way to say: Cancer Sucks! Take that, Cancer!


Thanks in advance for your support. Together we can help save lives.
Amy

I was on Vacation, dammit!

I've eaten like total crap the last 6 days, and that includes a great deal of wine with dinner most every night, and my excuse is - I was on Vacation, dammit!

But at a time when my body is the heaviest it's ever been, there is a little guilt.  But only a little!

So we had Starbucks for breakfast nearly every day, and I had Kopp's custard for breakfast one morning, and again at lunch the same day... so what?  And so what if we went to a great Italian restaurant twice for dinner and had mushroom and cheese ravioli in a rich sauce, and dessert (Kopp's, of course)?  There was a salad with dinner so we did get some veggies.  That time anyhow.

Most days I slept late and only ate 2 meals instead of the usual 3, so that helps cancel out some of the not-so-good-for-me meals, right?

Yeah. Who am I fooling? This Friday morning I'm headed to the gym and will be working out and counting calories in the weeks and months to come. 

It's time for a change.
-A

Dancing at a Wedding

So my husband describes another girl as "gorgeous" and I'm totally jealous. I've never been gorgeous. Pretty, cute, maybe even beautiful on occasion, but never gorgeous.

Yeah. Not really feeling great about that, but can't talk about it because then I may come off as insecure and needy, and there's nothing more unattractive than that.
-A

Dogs Off-Leash

I live in a townhouse community with a lot of green space. It's one of the great things about our townhouse, all the lovely, large tracts of grass and trees, sort of like having our own private park. Every day I walk our dog, Sophie, around the four internal blocks of our complex and she sniffs, runs off birds, and chases cats if we come across one. We do all this with her on a leash.

I'm pretty sure it's a law that your dog has to be leashed. And I know it's in our HOA CC&Rs that dogs have to be on a leash. And yet....

At least once a week we come across someone who has their dog off-leash, and it really makes me mad. If these dogs were suitably trained perhaps it wouldn't be an issue, but none of them come when called, or sit/stay. Neither does Sophie, but I don't take her off-leash, because I'm not an idiot! I have met great dogs who do brilliantly when off-leash, and who can be trusted not to run up to strange dogs or dash away into traffic. These dogs do not live here.

There's an older man who walks his little, brown dog off-leash. It's a short, little, squat dog that looks like a Chihuahua mix of some sort, with stand-up ears, short legs and a sausage-like body. This little dog does not heel or stay, but waddles up to me and Sophie with hackles raised, growling quietly, and the whole time the owner is saying; "It's ok, he's ok." Um... No sir, he's not. He's quite agitated and if he attacks my dog I'm going to kick him. I keep that thought to myself though, and now when I see them I walk the other way, and if the dog gets too close I pick up Sophie and we skedaddle.

Another dog, a German Shepherd, is walked off-leash by his elderly owner and one evening charged right over to us, causing me to yelp and grab up Sophie as quickly as I could. The Shepherd slid to a stop about 10 feet away and watched us as the owner called for it to come back to her, which of course didn't work. The dog instead charged off towards another couple walking their dog. They ran him off and he came back by us. My husband was walking with us that night and shouted at the woman to please put a leash on her dog. She shouted back that she had special permission to walk her dog off-leash. I told her that wasn't possible. She claimed again that she had special permission. Even if, by some slim chance, the city would allow something like that (and I truly doubt it) she's still within the townhome community, which prohibits dogs from being off-leash. And perhaps someone could get special permission from the HOA Board, but certainly that dog, who charges up to strange dogs rather aggressively and doesn't heel or respond to it's owner, would not be a dog that would receive that sort of special dispensation.

This morning I took Sophie out so she could perform her morning ablutions and we went the same way we always do, out the back gate and around the side of the building towards the front. She's on a flexi-lead a bit in front of me, and she stopped at the corner of our building, tail straight up and on alert. I locked the leash so she couldn't get any further ahead of me, and came up to check out what had her so focused. It was a very large, very scary Rottweiler mix off-leash. I didn't see an owner nearby, but I was pretty focused on the dog. He was standing stiff-legged, and his hackles were up, so I grabbed Sophie and we quickly went the opposite direction. Fortunately he didn't follow. He was wearing a collar so I figured he lived nearby, and a few minutes later I saw a group of 4 guys come from the same direction the dog had been standing, wearing track suits and laughing. I think they were the owners, or one of them was at least, and even through 3 of them were wearing bright red, it's entirely possible they were standing nearby to the dog and I never saw them - my focus was totally on the potential threat to myself and Sophie. I think that's why they were laughing, though I don't find it at all funny. Walking away I knew if it came down to it, I'd grab up Sophie and allow that dog to bite me before I'd let it bite her. And while I love dogs, if a dog were to attack us, I'd lash out in any way I could to protect us both.

There is 1 dog in my complex that goes off-leash that I like. He's an older dog, short and long like some sort of Basset Hound and Labrador mix. It's kind of a big dog but really low to the ground, with a long black coat and gray muzzle. His owner is an old woman who lets him out her front door to do his business, and occasionally walks him off-leash. But he's a good dog, and returns to her when she calls for him. We've run into him a few times and he loves Sophie. We get close and he starts running around like a puppy - it's pretty adorable. Sophie's not quite sure about him, his energy and enthusiasm seem to put her off, but she tolerates him and I'm always right there to intervene if necessary. But it's never been necessary.

As for the others - I think their owners are total idiots, and if I knew where they all lived I'd definitely report them to the HOA to be fined. I don't care if they think their dogs are the sweetest in the world, they don't know MY dog, and to naively allow their dog to wonder around off-leash and approach random dogs is just stupid. What if my dogs rips their dog's face off? Then my dog gets labeled a menace even though I responsibly had her on a leash. This of course has not happened, nor would it, but it could.

I don't know what's wrong with people. These owners put themselves, their dogs, and the community at risk. It's so dumb I can't even fathom it.

And even now as I write this, I can hear someone outside through my open window, whistling to their dog, who is running around off-leash. Idiot.

-A

Today I joined Calorie King

Today I signed up for www.calorieking.com and am now a Member. Or customer, or whatever you'd call it. My weight is out of control. I like to blame it on the cancer, but that was over 5 years ago now, kind of hard to keep doing that. Now, in my defense, the cancer really kicked my ass. That part is true. And the oncology nurses told me it'd probably be at least a year (after finishing treatment) before I would feel "normal" again, and that's about right. I don't think I had much energy at all until around the end of the year 2005. But it's now 2010 and I still carry all the weight I gained while I was sick, and then some.

My sister has been counting her calories manually using the Calorie King online database, but not as a member of Calorie King, and she's also been working out using the Nintendo Wii, and she's lost 15 lbs or so. I'm terribly jealous, and it's motivated me to start doing the same. Though I don't have a Nintendo Wii, I do have a Tivo now and maybe Netflix has exercise videos I can watch instantly. I'll have to check that out.

So time to stop blaming cancer and to start moving on. I think I'm ready. Having Sophie, our dog, has been a real blessing. I walk her every day, and while our morning and evening walks tend to be short, our afternoon walks are long, usually 30 minutes. Unfortunately a lot of that time is spent with her sniffing and peeing on things, so it's not 30 straight minutes of walking but I'm working on that. The point is, I've been much more active since we adopted her, and it's been great. I feel stronger and more "in shape" than I have in a long time. It's a good feeling.

I recently bought some hiking boots, so that we can go hiking on the weekends. I haven't done it yet, but soon. I think Sophie would love to check out Camelback Mountain. And if we don't make it all the way to the top, so what? One day we will, if we keep trying.

I'm not going to tell you my weight though. Just know it's much higher than you would ever guess, and I carry it well so I don't look my weight. Part of that is the lymphedema I'm sure, all that fluid. But even so, I need to lose like 100 lbs. Yeah, that much. Crazy, right? It's so daunting, I think it's part of the reason I have had so much trouble starting. I can barely wrap my brain around the fact that I need to lose so much weight! It's seems like an impossible goal.

The thing is, it's not impossible and I just need to remember that. So Day 1 on Calorie King. I'll keep you posted.
-A

From CNN's 21 Best Money Tips Ever

This was #20 I believe, out of the the 21 tips, and this one made the most sense to me;

Liz Claman Fox Business Network anchor and author of "The Best Investment Advice I Ever Received"

Best advice I can give: We all have to learn from our mistakes of overleveraging ourselves and acting like 5-year-olds -- "I want four cookies." You don't need four cookies; you only need one. It's not about what you want, it's about what you need. We all must reassess our consumer behavior. It's not good enough to live within our means -- we have to live beneath them.

Best advice I ever got: My father, Mo Claman, would say, "Liz, buy good companies going through bad times." When I was growing up, he was a big believer in Kodak, and every day he would get the paper and run his finger down the stocks column to check on it. The stock went through some rough periods, but he kept his Kodak shares, knowing it was a good company. He swears he put us five kids through college thanks to that stock.
**************************************************************
I'm embarrased to admit it, but my husband and I have virtually no savings. And we have debt. Not a lot of debt, but enough. And I don't mean the mortgage or the car, those are pretty normal, standard debts that everyone has, but we also have some credit card debt that we've been carrying about a year now. Boo!

And on top of that, no savings. Yeah, not a good place to be in. We just got our tax return recently and we put most of it towards the credit card debt, which paid off maybe 1/5th of what we owe, and then we got a Tivo. Yeah... maybe not the best use of our money but the idea behind that is that we'll save over the cable box DVR that we're currently paying for so the intention is good - to save money.

The remaining money is going into Savings. For sure. And we recently got a small refund check from our home escrow account, I'm putting that into Savings too. I worry in this economy that we could find ourselves in big trouble, unable to pay the mortgage or car payments if one of us were to lose our job (knock on wood!) though I know we'd both work at McDonald's if we had to, just to pay the bills. We'd figure it out. Still, I don't want to be a spender, I want to be a saver.

We do have 401k accounts so it's not like we have absolutely no savings, but that's not the kind of saving that Liz Claman is referring to. Standard advice is everyone should have 6 months worth of expenses saved up, in case of a job loss or other such crisis, and these days the financial people are saying we should all have a full years worth saved. Scary to think that we don't even have 1 month saved right now. So time to change that!

Then I get stuck though, on whether it's better to pay off the credit card with any "extra" money we have, or to put money in savings? Shouldn't we pay off our debt first, and then save?

Ugh. Decisions, decisions. Now I'm not sure what I'm going to do with the remaining tax return. Pay off the debt or put into savings? I get paralyzed by the fear that I'll make the wrong decision, and then don't want to do anything.
-A

Wednesday

Going out with Rhonda tonight, haven't been out in what seems like weeks, and haven't been out with a friend in forever. I've been a bit of a recluse again. Not sure why or how that happens, it just does. I seem to go for long periods where I only work and maybe see my family, and that's it. I don't much talk with people and I don't go out. And yet I always seem so busy... How is that possible?

I'm glad to be getting out of the house and looking forward to some social time. I'm leaving the husband home tonight, hopefully he won't mind too much.

-A

Down with the sickness

It's a song, but it's also how I feel today - Down with the sickness! Interpreted both ways as in; Down with you, virus! I hate you! And also, I am down because I'm still sick.

Now I'm so much better than I was over the weekend and Monday, when I called out sick for work (I can't say Stayed Home because I work from home, so I'm home already whether I'm sick or not), but I still feel sick. Just not as sick.

I know I'm not drinking enough fluids today, so that's not helping any. Pretty soon it'll be time to take Sophie for her daily lunchtime walk and that's going to be miserable, as it has been all week. At least the weather is nice, hopefully I can soak in some sun without feeling overheated. It's already in the 80's here, which while nice, is really hot if you stand in the sun. I think the temp difference between shade and sun here must be 10 degrees easily.

I digress though. I was commenting on this crappy virus that has me feeling so... well, crappy. On the bright side, I've probably lost a few pounds this week because I've not been eating much. I'm too full from swallowing my own sick mucus to want to eat much, and none of it tastes right so what's the point? And yes, I said it - swallowing mucus! We all do it when we're sick, it's disgusting, and I hate it, but it's the truth. I don't even think we are conscious we're doing it, but when you sniffle your nose and swallow, where do you think it goes, hmmmm? Yeah.. blow your nose next time. lol!

I blow my nose constantly, have probably gone through an entire box of Puffs Plus this week (which I use exclusively because the lotion really does help) but it doesn't matter, I still get the post-nasal drip and have the constant swallowing, as a result, so I know there's still plenty of mucus going into my gut and it makes me feel nauseated. Ugh. Not to mention the phlegm from coughing. At least that's slowed down some. Good thing too as I was beginning to worry I might have to go to Urgent Care for a breathing treatment or something. I sound sort of like Darth Vader when I breathe. "Luke.... I am your Father! Bring me my asthma inhaler."

I am being such a whiner. But only because it's been like a week now that I've been dealing with this crap. 3 days is my limit. Ok, maybe 5 days. 1 day to come down with it, 3 days to be sick, 1 day to get over it. That's my normal sick schedule. This is really got me irritated. It's been 8 days now and I'm so over it!

:: wheeze:: "The force is with you young Skywalker... but you are not a Jedi yet." :: wheeze::
-A

The Girl Formerly Known as Sick

Ugh, I was so sick this weekend. There is this nasty bug going around and I was lucky enough to get it. I'm a very lucky girl... lucky girl... lucky girl. Oh wait, that was a snippet from Stepford Children I think.

I really felt miserable on Sunday. I lay on the couch all day, reading and watching TV, my back aching, my joints aching, my head all stuffed up, and a racking cough that made all those aching symptoms worse every time. Monday I woke up and said to myself; I am not getting up for work, I'm going back to bed. I called my boss to let her know I'd be out sick and she told me she also had caught the nasty bug and would be out as well. I then slept until about 1:30 in the afternoon. I believe that was 15 hours of sleep.

And all that time that I was in bed Monday morning, I was both sweating and chilled. I couldn't take the blanket off because I felt like I'd freeze to death and my bones would shatter from the shivering, but underneath the blanket the sheets were soaked. It was disgusting. We actually had to change the sheets because it was so bad.

When I woke up at 1:30 or so, I finally felt a little normal. No more sweating and chills at least. I was able to make my way downstairs where I set myself up on the couch again and settled in for the day. I still ached all over and walked around like I was some sort of geriatric with degenerative bone disease. Had someone happened to see me through the window, I'm certain they would have thought to themselves; Oh, that poor old lady!

Today is so much better. Still had some sweating this a.m. I guess my body doesn't feel like it's purged quite enough yet, but that fortunately has stopped now. My head still hurts a bit but I think it's dehydration. I'm trying to get in those necessary fluids but when I don't feel well, it's difficult. I know, I know - I'm doing it, ok? Sheesh.

Here's the moral - Don't get sick.
-A

Crabby Boy

My husband is so crabby tonight that we had a fight because I was trying not to have a fight. There was a subject I tried to avoid so we wouldn't fight and he kept pushing it. Then said things like "so now we shouldn't talk about anything we disagee about?"

The subject was vitamins. We had a difference of opinion and I knew I wasn't going to convince him nor him me, so I said Whatever, let's just not talk about it, I'm done. And he got all pissed at me, said he didn't like how I cut him off. I explained I was just trying to avoid a fight and he's all combative - Why do you think it would have been a fight? And it was just downhill from there.

How is it that my trying to not fight turns into a fight? He then had me arguing vitamins with him and he told me I sounded totally ignorant. Nice, huh? It was not fun and we've barely spoken all night. Lovely. Just what I wanted for my Friday night.
-A

Taking care of our parents

I chose a stormy image for today's post because I'm feeling a bit stormy.

I was talking to a friend and it seems that many of us (and by us, I mean those in my generation) are now getting to the age of role reversal, where we become the caretakers of our parents. And that made me sad.

My dad was in the ER again last night for extremely high blood pressure. He and my mom live with my sister, so she was able to convince him to go to the ER, even though he really, really didn't want to. She's great with him, I'm not sure I could have done as well. I would have probably been mean about it, gotten frustrated. She's such a great nuturer, she's absolutely the caregiver type and I'm absolutely not. My mom jokes that they can always depend on me... to pay for the nursing home. And that's probably true.

Then again, none of us really know what we're capable of until we're in a situation where we have to push ourselves and our boundaries. Right? But I hope I never have to, in this case. The thought scares me. Thankfully my sister is willing and able, so it all works out.

My dad was not admitted last night, and was sent home around 3:30 a.m. I haven't heard anything new since I was told he was being looked at in the ER, but hope to get some news once my parents have had time to get some much needed sleep. I'm sure it'll just be that they got his blood pressure down and let him go. As to why it was up, we already know.

My dad has a small artery in his brain that is occluded. It's caused many small strokes (TIA's) throughout the last 15 or so years, the first was in Wisconsin around '98 I think. I forget the exact year. I don't think I even really understood what was happening then. I know I was at the house and they called 911, and I left. I was visiting from Arizona I think, and had to fly back the next day. I think I was selfishly spending time with my boyfriend that weekend, and had no idea that what was happening to my dad was potentially so serious.

Fortunately it wasn't too serious - he was ok, very little damage done. But since then he's had many other TIAs (transient ischemic attack, if you want to look it up) and has had to deal with the decline of his body a bit, as a result. He's had issues with his eye, his foot and leg, other things. But nothing debilitating. Then about 4 weeks ago he had a full on stroke. He wouldn't go to the hospital because he didn't have insurance. Last year he had a double bypass and was on the state provided insurance but they dropped him after about 9 months. Then the stroke happened, and once he did go to the hospital and was admitted, he was back on it again.

He's such a stubborn man. Even after that, having a stroke, he still didn't want to go to the hospital last night. It took about 3 hours to convince him, apparently. My sister said he was mad, but not really mad at her, just mad at the situation. I think he's depressed. He's on so many meds right now, I don't know if he's on one for mood but I think he should be.

So at least he's home though now, and resting. Or I assume he's resting. I'll probably go over there later tonight after work. I always feel better after I see for myself how he's doing.

I'm not ready to lose either of my parents. I don't even like thinking about the possibility.

-A

By mid-February, I've already missed my January goal...

My January goal was to blog a little every day, and I've already muffed that up. Ha! My last post was February something, and now it's March 8th. But I'll keep trying!

So let's see, what's been going on?

John got a "new" car recently! It's a lovely '05 Honday CR-V with 4-wheel drive, moon roof, 6 disk CD player... It's very nice. I say "new" in parens because it's a used car, but new to us. We got a really good deal on it, we think, and he totally loves it. We want to get rid of his old, crappy Isuzu Rodeo now, but we're not sure what to do with it. I'd like to sell it and make a little money but I'm not sure anyone will buy it. I guess we could try posting it on Craigslist and some other sites. We'll see.

I got my old car! Yay for me! My lease was up this year and I could either a) Trade in my car and get a new one, either buy or lease again, b) Buy the car I was leasing, c) Turn it in and say - I'm done, you have it, and then get something else to drive.

Well option a) was out because dealers were only willing to give me like $6,000 or so on my trade and I owed $7700. Nope, no thanks, don't want to be upside-down on a car. Option c) wasn't a great option either, as to do so we'd have to pay some sort of turn-in fee of $400 or so, plus a charge for the number of miles I was over on the lease. I wasn't very much over, about 300 miles or so. Even so, to pay these fees and then still be out a car, and have to work out buying something else wasn't a very good option at all. So it was b) - buy the damn thing.

And buying it actually worked out very much in our favor. Even though the dealers would only give me $6,000 or so as a Trade, it's actually worth about $10,000. If I bought it on a lot that's about what I'd pay for it, maybe more. So to buy it for $7700 is pretty awesome. I'm not upside-down on a car loan! Hooray! And in addition, I feel good about the financing. My original lease was with Wells Fargo who gave me a quote to buy it and sent me ppwk, but when I went to go to a branch to sign the ppwk and get it notarized, the person there who was the notary didn't even acknowledge me. The other staff did, but she didn't. She was helping someone, but he kept making calls on his cell. Apparently he couldn't seem to get some loan he was applying for and she was giving him the numbers and addresses even of the 3 big credit report companies, and he was asking her all sorts of weird questions and telling her his life story, and it was like - seriously? This guy can't get approved and is going to sit at your desk to try to talk his way out of a bad credit score, when I'm sitting there waiting for 20 minutes just wanting to sign some paperwork so that I can pay you money on a loan I'm already approved for, and you can't even acknowledge me? Frakkin (Bleep!).

So I called our Credit Union, who had agreed to finance us for the CR-V (but we actually went with a different lender) and asked if they'd finance the Honda Civic lease buy-out instead, and we got a lower interest rate with them by 3/4 of a percent! So suck it Wells Fargo branch on (approx) 32nd & Camelback!

Yeah. That's my story.
-A

I'm scary

You may find this shocking, so brace yourself - Not everyone likes me. Yes, there are some people out there who do not like me. I know, crazy.

I think some people are put off by my brutal honesty, my inability to play politics or games, my candidness and refusal to sugar coat things. I live in a mostly black and white world, there's very little gray in it. There's some... but not a lot.

This world view has gotten me into trouble many times; at work, at home, with friends and family. But should I try and change it? I'm not sure I could, even if I wanted to. I do try and cut my loved ones some slack, and they do the same for me. They've learned that even when I may come off as harsh or abrasive, that its just their perception and its not due to any intent on my part, other than to relay information. My intent is to tell you (the rhetorical you) something as clearly and succinctly as possible.

This is why I will never be a people manager, or so I believe. If you're doing a great job, I'll tell you. If I think you're not, I'll tell you. Why does it have to be more complicated than that? Isn't life compicated enough?

Usually I feel bad about this aspect of myself, because I know it can put people off and sometimes that makes me sad. There are people I'd like to be friends with that I'm not, and I wonder if I were more... soft?.. maybe we'd be friends. But that's not me.

Then yesterday, in having a conversation with an old high school friend, I was told this;

You shocked me when I first met you with your kindness and openness and I was drawn to it and sometimes afraid of it - it's not what I was used to.

And I think that's sort of it. I scare people because I'm "too open" and it's not what they're used to. But what Chris was saying here was he saw it as a good thing. My friends who love me see it as a good thing, or at least an acceptable "Amy thing", and that's a relief. Truly, I don't know how else to be.

Scary Amy, signing off.

-A

A post about my dad

I think the font on my blog has been too small so I'm trying a new font today, slightly bigger - or so I hope. It doesn't look bigger now as I type but hopefully when I post it'll appear bigger.

So that's me and my dad. This was at my 5 year Cancer Free celebration party. My sister used to tease me, when I was little, that I was adopted. I didn't actually believe her, but a small part of me did wonder for a bit. Because in my family, I was the only one with blond hair and brown eyes. My mom's eyes are blue and my dad's are hazel, and my sister's are hazel. My dad had blond hair as a child but when I was a kid, that meant nothing to me. All I knew was what I saw. Now don't get mad at my sister, I never really believed it, I only just sort of wondered.

However now there's certainly no doubt. I look too much like my Father (and my Grandmother too) for there to be any question of paternity. LOL! As this pic shows.

He's doing well, he's at the Rehab place and he is supposed to start Therapy today. He's in better spirits since he's left the hospital, and he's eager to go home but that is likely at least a week away. Well, a week from when he arrived anyway so I don't see him going home before this Friday, and maybe not even that soon.

He's not on any IV's or monitors, which is great. He looks good and when I visited, we talked and watched the Russia/Czech Olympic hockey game. Good times.

-A

Daily Show clip

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
The Apparent Trap
http://www.thedailyshow.com/
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Jon Stewart rocks my socks.

Thursday stuff

This is my friend Rhonda and I in the balloon. My hair is all flat because I'd been wearing a hat earlier but took it off in the heat of the fire keeping the balloon aloft. We had a great time and would definitely do it again. We got the deal from Groupon and I highly recommend you check out Groupon if you don't know about it already. It is the shiznit. And I thank Rhonda for this photo, she's awesome. And a good friend.

So my dad's in the hospital. I haven't posted about this because I don't think my mom is sharing this with people, but I want to "talk" about it.

He went in last Wednesday, so it's been more than a week now. He's had another stroke, it would seem, but getting medical info from him is difficult. He doesn't always know what he's talking about and tells me more about what he thinks is going on, than about what might really be going on.

But I do know this; He's got numbness (but not paralysis) all along his right side. It's sort of waxed and waned, but I don't think it's going away and next stop is a Rehab Center where they'll work with him to hopefully recover, however much that's possible.

He's got a small artery in his brain that is causing these mini-strokes he's been having, and the one he had that put him in the hospital last week, and the docs thought maybe there was a blood clot there and that if they could move it, the numbness would go away. Now they're saying there's no blood clot, it's just that the artery is slowly closing off because of plaque, and that there's nothing they can do.

So, as he says, he'll either get better, get worse, or stay the same. We're hoping for better of course, but I expect this will be what eventually does him in. My sister had initially said she thought they would do brain surgery if it seemed like all other options were exhausted, but right now it's too risky and the risks outweigh the benefits. When does that change, I wonder? When he's in a bed, immobile? Doesn't sound too good to me.

I'm sort of commpletely blah about the whole thing. I'm not sad, I'm not angry, I'm not really anything. I don't think I've quite processed what's happening. Mostly because he seems ok. Sure, he might not be able to walk for a bit because of the numbness, but therapy should help that and he can move, he's not paralyzed at all, and he can talk. Aside from the numbness, which I can't see, he seems like his normal self. I hope it stays that way.

I saw a shooting star on my way to visit him Tuesday night, and I made a wish.
-A

Boo! What the? Mmmm! Woo hoo!

Boo!
Hockey game Saturday night, and we lost. Petr Prucha got hurt in the 1st period and the Coyotes got pissed. There were more fights than I've seen in Hockey in a long, long time. And.. the Refs really let them go much longer than usual. Not sure how that works - why sometimes they break up the fights right away and other times they let the players really go at it. We lost 0:3, it was sad. We had a good time, even so.

What the?
Yesterday we found a pink post-it on my car that said "Te Amo". John brought it in, he was like - Did you leave this on your car? Um, why would I leave a note to myself? No, I didn't leave it. Then we get in his car, and there's a blue post-it on his windshield, passenger side, so I reach out through the window and grab it. In different ink and different handwriting, it says "I love you". Weird, right? Some kind of crazy valentine's fairies making the rounds I guess.

Mmmmm!
For Valentine's day I got chocolate! Mmmmm. Of course, I had to pretty much say "This is what you're going to get me" because my man does not know how to take hints. Nor does he plan ahead. As of Friday he had still not gotten me anything. But rather than say, "Hey, I want these chocolates!" myself, I had a couple friends email him and say, "You know what Amy wants? This is what she wants...", which made it a bit better. I have had his presents since Christmas, but I didn't give them to him yet! Aiee! I'm a bad girl. We were tired once we got home last night and then I had Sophie on my lap and didn't want to move. He didn't make a fuss, so I stayed comfy and he'll get his presents today.

I also got a Sprinkles cupcake, talk about Mmmmm! Banana with chocolate frosting. Oh yeah, so freakin' good. The Banana is my favorite, of the few I've tried. I know they're known for their Red Velvet, which is very good, but I really love the Banana. And I never had it with chocolate frosting before, so that was really a treat. So, so, so very good!

Woo hoo!
Monday we celebrated Valentine's Day, only we call it Lovers Day. Just because. We don't celebrate the Hallmark Holiday, but just celebrate that we love each other. Which we can celebrate any day, doesn't have to be February 14. We slept late, had brunch at La Grande Orange where we took Sophie along and she got to sit outside with us and people watch, and try some bacon. Yes, she loved the bacon. No surprise there. Then we went home and I napped briefly, and only briefly because our friends picked us up at 3:30 to go on our Balloon Ride! Yes, we all got a Groupon deal for Hot Air Expeditions and so we went with our two friends and had an amazing evening balloon ride over the desert, followed by hors d'oervres and champagne. There were more people than just us, and 3 bottles of champagne, but we probably drank about 1.5 at least, just between the 4 of us. It was a good time, and pitch black in the desert by the time we wrapped up. The moon was just a sliver over the Western mountains, it was gorgeous. My camera battery had failed by then so I didn't get a picture of that, but I did get lots of pictures while in the air.

I still have to get the pics off my camera, but I will be adding a photo to this entry once I've done that, so if you're seeing it without a photo, be sure to check back later.

-A

Happy Black Friday!

The Friday before Valentine's Day is Black Friday, right? ;)
Heck if I know.

I hope this embedding thing works.
Amy

Edit; It did not work. Huh, you know, I think I have to be in the HTML editing function. If you see a JibJab card below that you can view, then it worked. :)

Personalize funny videos and birthday eCards at JibJab!

Stuffy Nose

Mah node id all stubbed up. I am not habby.

Nor will I type my entire post today phonetically, that would take way too much thinking on my part and I'm still having my morning coffee.

So my cousin is getting married in May - hooray! I'm very happy for her, she's one of my favorite relatives. We were born only a few months apart and grew up together. I'm excited to go to the wedding too and visit with my other favorite relatives. As for my not so favorite ones? Well, a few drinks and everyone looks good so it'll be a good time no matter who is there.

The big question is right now - what do we do with Sophie? Our recently adopted dog can't stay home by herself. I'd rather not board her, we already have to board one of our kitties because she gets meds 2x/day - a lot to ask of a friend or relative unless they stay in the house. Hmmm... that actually makes me think. I wonder...

One of my friends is having major issues in the home she bought, I believe she was going to leave it. Like just up and go and let it be foreclosed upon. It's not worth what she bought it for, the market dropped not long after her purchase, and it's had all sorts of terrible issues too. AND her brother lives with her, along with his boyfriend... Maybe she'd like a break and would be willing to come stay here and house/pet sit. I'll have to talk to her. She has a dog of her own but if her brother is still there, or if she's back home by the time we leave, her parents will be there, and so the dog would be taken care of. Hmmm. Not a bad idea.

Good thing I'm blogging, it helps me think.

-A

Winter Coat

Today when I walked the dog I put on some capri pants that I'd forgotten I had. I dug them out because all my other pants are dirty, yes its time for some laundry, and I wore mismatched striped socks pulled up as high as they would go. I thought I looked kind of cute and quirky really.

Confession time. The socks were a necessity because I haven't shaved my legs in, well, a long time. I sometimes joke that its my winter coat. Shameful I know, but I'm just a wild Bohemian at heart. My armpits aren't shaved either. Oo! Scandalous!

Don't judge me.
-A

Ugh

Well J is in a super crabby mood. Gotta love it. I'm just trying to stay out of his way. I hate when he's like this. He's short-tempered, throwing stuff around, slamming doors... I asked if there was anything I could help him with and he said "I don't know."

Earlier he was moving stuff around on the patio in preparation for the painters tomorrow (our HOA has been repainting all the buildings, tomorrow its our turn) and he says to me something like, "Where should I put everything?" I honestly thought it was a rhetorical question so I didn't answer. So he asked me again (and mind you, he didn't ask where I thought he should put stuff, just where he should put stuff - like I know and should instruct him). I told him I didn't really know, but were supposed to get it all away from the walls.

He grumbles and goes outside, slamming the doors and swearing a blue streak.  (And again just now). So I go out there, see if I can help. He's bringing the outdoor cushions indoors and I say, "Those should be fine, they're outdoor cushions." He argues with me and I say, Whatever, I'm just trying to help. He's being all pissy and I ask why he's mad and he starts yelling that he's irritated and trying to clear off the patio and I'm in his way asking questions.

At this point, clearly I can do nothing right, so now I'm shutting up and venting on my blog. Jerk.

Frakkin shrimp toast.
-A 

My New Puppy Snores

We've adopted our Foster Dog. Her name is Sophie and she snores. It makes me laugh! She's in my office with me right now, sleeping on the futon, and she's snoring. It's pretty darn adorable.

So my in-laws are visiting and it's been a fun week so far. We've gone to the Kartchner Caverns and that was fun, we've looked at some RV Sites because in about 2 years they're planning on Wintering here (yay!), we had Cuban food at the Havana Cafe, we met up with my parents to eat at one of our favorite local restaurants, Oregano's , where my MIL really enjoyed the Bellinis and my FIL loved the Pizza and Pizza-Cookie (of course, who doesn't love their food!), and last night my FIL and I went to see the Dress Rehearsal of "La Boheme" through my friend Angie and the Monte Vista club . That was very cool as I've never before been to an actual Opera. I've seen lots of musicals, yes, but never an Opera. And for those of you who think you have - Phantom of the Opera is a Muscial, not an Opera. Don't worry, I used to think it was Opera too, once upon a time.

Today I'm back to work so they are out looking at potential RV sites for their future Winter home. John and I are pretty excited to have them here, even if it's only for a few months out of the year. It's going to be great to be able to see them so much, compared to only about once a year now.

Not sure what else we're going to do while they're here. Maybe head up to Jerome on Saturday, since that's a really nice day trip and there's so many cool art galleries and stores up there. I don't think they've ever been there. We'll have to just see what they're interested in.

That's it for today!

Amy

Yesterday - not a good day

I must apologize for my long-winded rant yesterday. Turns out I was all upset over nothing. I told my PT Boss that I couldn't work Tuesday and she said - No problem, enjoy your family.

Sheesh. I guess I was having a bad day yesterday. I was just crabby and prickly. I feel like I may be getting a migraine. A woman called today (I take lots of incoming calls for my FT job) and her voice just pounded into my head. It was as if it was at a decibal (sp?) designed to make the human brain hurt. Maybe it's a Super Power and she's a Super Villain? Or she could be like some fallen Angel or Demon, or half-breed, with such a powerful voice it makes people's brains explode if she doesn't keep it under control.

Lucky for me, she seemed to have good control. My brain only *almost* exploded.

Visitors arrive tonight, and I still have not cleaned up my share of the house. I have clothes to put away, boxes to move, and general crap to get out of the way. Oh well. I have my lunch hour to do some of it. The rest will have to just sit there and make me feel guilty.

-A

Work, Boss, argh.

Sorry to my 2 followers - I missed a few days. I know, you were heartbroken and devastated over my lapse. I'll try not to let it happen again.

Thanks for following me, btw. It's so nice of you. :)

Tonight I am frustrated, once again, with my part-time boss. She owns her own business and I only work for her about 6 hours a week, on average. She pays me more per hour than I make at my full-time job, and she's generally very flexible about my hours. Plus, I work from home most of the time, so it's pretty cool all around.

She's 70 years old this year, and maybe she's beginning to show her age because lately, she's been making me a bit crazy. And what really gets me is I am SO flexible for her (and yes, she returns the favor) but then when I'm not, when I can't change my life around to suit her, she gets all butt hurt.

For example; Christmas. She's leaving to go out-of-state to visit her daughter. There's some report that we can't finish on 12/23 because the other expert hasn't sent in his report yet, and she needs his to finalize hers. (she's an expert witness, btw) It's nearly 9:00 at night, she's leaving the next day on a plane, I've got the day off and plan to finish my wrapping and shopping, and we figure - there's no way the attorney is going to be working on 12/24 and it's not our fault the other witness doesn't have his report in, so finalizing the report will have to wait until she's back from her vacation on 1/3.

She lets the attorney know, apparently he flips his lid and insists he needs the report by 1/1. She plans to be in a hotel with her grandkids so can't work on 12/31 or 1/1, and asks if I can check her email and work on 12/26. The day after Christmas. It's also my nephew's birthday and John and I have a hockey game that night. So I tell her, No, I'm sorry- I can work any other day after that but not on 12/26. Well she gets all frustrated and butt hurt. I get irritated because I very rarely, if ever, tell her No and don't appreciate her getting all huffy and mad about it. As if I don't have the right to have the day after Christmas off!

Another time, we're sitting in her office going over her calendar. This was actually before Christmas, I remember, because we were talking about 12/21, which is the Winter Solstice. I celebrate the Solstice, and I was hoping John and I could do our gifts that night, put up our little tree, etc. I tell her I can work early in the day but need to start at 5:00 and be done by 7:00, then finish up on Tuesday if necessary. That doesn't quite work for her so she asks if she can fax me the work Sunday so that I can start on it then and have it all done by Monday night. I say- Certainly! She's going to be traveling so she faxes me Sunday morning and we agree she'll call Monday.

I actually end up sick that weekend with the nasty 48-hour flu bug I caught from John, sweating/chills, vomiting, the other end leaking too... ugh. But I pull myself off the couch that night and get the work done, because I don't want to get stuck working late Monday.

We're supposed to work at 5:00. She doesn't call. 5:35.. still no call, so I try calling her. She's at the airport, she says she'll be home by 7:00 and we can start work then. I say - Uh, no. We're supposed to be Done by 7:00, we were supposed to start at 5:00. She says no, she faxed me the work Sunday to work on that night. I was like - No, you faxed me the work Sunday to do on Sunday - so that I could get a head start and we could be done by 7:00, because it was 12/21 and that's a holiday for me. She was all flustered and again, totally made me feel guilty. Her favorite line - Well you just do what you gotta do, Amy.

Ha! I was so irritated. We sat there and discussed the schedule. I don't know how it changed in her head or what happened, but I know the error wasn't mine.

Today. Yes, this brings us to today. She sends me all this work, including something from another expert that I normally do separately (and I've told them I can't do both of their work on the same night, I just don't have enough time) and wants it all done. Doesn't happen. Not a big deal because I do have some time tomorrow and I'll wrap it up. But then! When we did the calendar for this month, we were not working this coming Tuesday because she's going to be traveling. But she sends me this email and asks me to check her email on Tuesday, just as if we were going to work, and to work on these 2 reports because she needs them for Thursday.

Well guess what! I have out-of-town guests coming tomorrow night and they're staying for a week, and I took Mon/Tues/Wed off of work next week to spend time with them. And I'm not freaking working on Tuesday! She never asked me, before this email tonight, to work on Tuesday so I never mentioned my guests. It wasn't necessary, we weren't going to be working anyhow. I just know this is going to be an issue. I truly do. And I'm already defensive because I know she's going to put it on me like it's my fault I didn't somehow glean from her mind via ESP that she'd want me to work, even though I'm not scheduled.

Ok, I'm totally complaining. I feel it even as I type it. Am I lame? It's hard to explain it, but it's like she gets this attitude when I can't make my schedule mesh with hers. And the reason that's so irritating is because 99% of the time I DO make my schedule mesh. I rearrange things for her, I cancel things, I give up my lunch hour, etc. I do what I can to make sure I can work when she needs me to, but sometimes I just can't. And by can't, I guess I mean won't. There's a point when I just feel that her work isn't the priority at that time. In this case, spending time with my family is the priority. Had I known she would want me to work - well I would have maybe tried to work something out with her but I didn't know.

So frustrating. Ok. I think I'm all bitched out for now.
Amy

PF Chang's Weekend

Yesterday was the PF Chang's Rock and Roll Marathon here in Phoenix. It was an awesome event and a great weekend. It was John's first ever event and he's hooked. We both did the half marathon with Team in Training, so we raised, between the two of us, about $4,500 to fight blood cancers. Yeah, we rock.

We had a great time. John Bingham, The Penguin, was our speaker again at the TNT Inspiration Dinner. He's an amazing guy and such a great speaker. A long time ago his first love died of Hodgkin's Lymphoma, the same disease I had, but back then it was far less treatable. Then it was practically a death sentence but today, its got something like a 95% cure rate for Stage 1. 

John Bingham created Team in Training as a way to keep a promise he made to his friend's mother, to do whatever he could to fight this disease. Cancer. Since then he's inspired countless others to run, walk, and run/walk and raise money to fight blood cancers. I'd say he kept his promise and then some.

Next event, San Antonio. I think. John and I are talking to some friends, were hoping to get a group together to go. Anyone interested let me know. I'm planning on doing the half marathon again, 13.1 miles. 

I can't wait!

Men of a Certain Age

TNT's new show. I wasn't sure about it at first but I have to say, the last two episodes have been truly fabulous. There have been some really great, laugh out loud lines. Like these;

"Eccentric can be a compliment."
"Not really. Eccentric is just a gentler way of saying crazy, but with money,maybe."
"So how did he describe me?"
"Well he said very pretty, and a lot of fun."
"Well that just means slut."
"No... uh.."
"Fun means slutty, but you kinda like the girl anyway."

Or these

"You were honestly going to wack it in the office?"
"Woah, woah, who said anything about wacking it?"
"Well why were your pants down?"
"I don't know, I was awaiting further instructions!"
"Like what? Now staple your dick to a post-it note?"

Oh yeah, that had me laughing out loud. And last week were these really touching, really poignant moments for two of the lead characters.

One of them, Joe, who is divorced, has a talk wiith his daughter's ex-boyfriend, who is sort of stalking her because he's still madly in love with her. And Joe relates because he's still in love with his wife. Joe talks to the kid about how loving someone makes you feel, how you want to be a better person for them, how you constantly think about them and feel like the world is going to end because it's over. But that while it may feel that way, the world does go on and he'll meet someone else one day, someone that maybe he'll marry and have kids with, and that maybe one day he'll have this same moment with his own daughter's boyfriend. It was really well done because it was clear that while Joe was talking to this heart-broken boy, he was also coming to some realizations of his own, that his life wasn't over either and that he would someday find someone else. Then, he gets out of the car and leans in through the window, and tells the kid if he sees him around again, he'll kick his ass. The kids looks terrified and drives off, and Joe looks at his house, where his ex-wife and kids are tucked in for bed, and you can tell he feels like a Good Dad.

And the other; Owen, the still married guy with kids in a crappy job, got screwed by a contractor who was building an addition to his home, without permits as it turns out. The city comes and shuts him down, and tells him he may have to tear down all the work, pay fines and rebuild. He goes to a city worker for help, waiting in line all day to get a chance to talk with him, and the city guy tells Owen there's nothing he can do. He's frustrated and as the power is shut off in his home, he's forced to take his family to stay with his parents for the night. His dad is a Beast (any GRRM readers - think Tywin Lannister) and makes him feel like a failure. Humiliated, the next day Owen goes back to the city, stands in line all day, and when he finally gets to talk to the city guy, who again tells him there's nothing he can do, Owen tells him a story about working for his dad, and how he's stuck, and nothing he does will ever br good enough... It's a heartbreaking story, and you know Owen is baring his very soul to this man, hoping he'll take pity on him. Then they show Owen outside on the steps having a Rocky moment. Triumphant! Fists in the air, huge smile, victorious! It was beautiful.

If you have cable on demand, you should watch the last two episodes. Or watch them online. Watch all of them if you want, but it's not necessary, it's the last two that are really worth the time. This show is really finding itself and becoming something brilliant.
-A

The Day that Seven Singed her Tail

Oh Seven, you silly, nilly gray kitty. What were you thinking when you sat upon my desk, your eyes bright with mischief, and your sinuous tail draped over the burning flame of my Winter Cookie candle?

Your tail is on fire you git!

And the smell of burning fur wafts through the air, nauseating and rich.

-A

Sick on Monday

All day, really all weekend, I've been having runny nose and sneezing issues. I think it's allergies, but tonight I feel like maybe it's a head cold. It sort of feels like it's settled in, into my head, like my head is now like a round fishbowl partially full of fluid, thoughts all hazy like fish in the dirty water. And if I tip it to the side, it feels heavy and hard to re-center.

Whenever I get a cold, it comes on first like allergies. A virus in histamine clothing. Ha ha! So it's often hard to tell. It doesn't help that I ran out of allergy pills and forgot to call in a refill, so I've been off my anti-histamines for a few days now. Oops. And it doesn't help that I live in a house full of animals that I'm allergic to. These dogs especially. Double oops.

What can I say, I'm a bit of a masochist I think.